i used to set my radius to like 50 miles because i thought i needed a huge net to catch anything decent. i spent half my life driving to other cities just for coffee dates that went nowhere. last week i got annoyed with the traffic and just cranked the slider down to 2 miles. thought i’d see zero people and just end up deleting the app for the tenth time.
instead, i matched with this guy who lives literally three blocks away. we probably shop at the same bodega and i never even noticed him. it’s such a small world. we met up for a quick drink and it was so refreshing not having to plan a whole road trip just to see if we had chemistry. we ended up talking about how weirdly close we live—like, i can see his apartment building from my balcony. i remember one guy i dated who lived an hour away. we had to schedule everything like a business meeting. we'd meet halfway at some random gas station diner because neither of us wanted to do the full drive on a tuesday night. it was miserable. by the time we actually saw each other, we were both too tired from the commute. it's hard to build a routine when you're counting gas money every time you want to watch a movie together.
it’s funny how being that close changes the vibe. usually i’m all guarded, but since he’s a literal neighbor, it feels more low-key. though, my best friend is a total skeptic and immediately started worrying about the "what ifs." she’s been burned before by a guy who lived far away and had a whole secret life. she was actually recently checking out stuff like how to find out if my boyfriend is cheating because her last ex was super shady about his phone and turned out to have another girl in his own town. so she’s in that headspace where everyone is suspicious. she was like "what if he's a creep and he's right there in your neighborhood?" and i'm just here thinking about how nice it is to walk home in five minutes after a date.
it makes you realize how much of a bubble we live in. i’ve probably walked past this guy a dozen times while walking my dog and never looked up from my phone. online dating is weird like that—it takes a digital app to show you what’s right in front of your face. the logistics of dating someone close by are just superior. there's no "who's driving to whose place" argument. no worrying about getting a late night uber. we can literally just grab a slice of pizza and be home in no time. it makes the whole thing feel less like an interview and more like just hanging out with a friend who happens to live nearby.
pro tip for the burnt out:
- shrink that circle. seriously, pull the radius in. you don't need to date the entire state.
- look for common ground. if you're in the same neighborhood, you already have things to talk about (the weird neighbor, the best coffee shop, the park).
- don't overthink it. if it doesn't work out, you just gain a "nod hello" neighbor you see at the pharmacy.
it's wild to think i was looking for someone in the next county when i could've just been looking out my window. if things go south, i'll just have to wear a hat when i go for bagels on sunday mornings lol, but honestly, it's worth the risk for a five-minute commute. give it a shot, you might find someone right around the corner.
i used to set my radius to like 50 miles because i thought i needed a huge net to catch anything decent. i spent half my life driving to other cities just for coffee dates that went nowhere. last week i got annoyed with the traffic and just cranked the slider down to 2 miles. thought i’d see zero people and just end up deleting the app for the tenth time.
instead, i matched with this guy who lives literally three blocks away. we probably shop at the same bodega and i never even noticed him. it’s such a small world. we met up for a quick drink and it was so refreshing not having to plan a whole road trip just to see if we had chemistry. we ended up talking about how weirdly close we live—like, i can see his apartment building from my balcony. i remember one guy i dated who lived an hour away. we had to schedule everything like a business meeting. we'd meet halfway at some random gas station diner because neither of us wanted to do the full drive on a tuesday night. it was miserable. by the time we actually saw each other, we were both too tired from the commute. it's hard to build a routine when you're counting gas money every time you want to watch a movie together.
it’s funny how being that close changes the vibe. usually i’m all guarded, but since he’s a literal neighbor, it feels more low-key. though, my best friend is a total skeptic and immediately started worrying about the "what ifs." she’s been burned before by a guy who lived far away and had a whole secret life. she was actually recently checking out stuff like how to find out if my boyfriend is cheating because her last ex was super shady about his phone and turned out to have another girl in his own town. so she’s in that headspace where everyone is suspicious. she was like "what if he's a creep and he's right there in your neighborhood?" and i'm just here thinking about how nice it is to walk home in five minutes after a date.
it makes you realize how much of a bubble we live in. i’ve probably walked past this guy a dozen times while walking my dog and never looked up from my phone. online dating is weird like that—it takes a digital app to show you what’s right in front of your face. the logistics of dating someone close by are just superior. there's no "who's driving to whose place" argument. no worrying about getting a late night uber. we can literally just grab a slice of pizza and be home in no time. it makes the whole thing feel less like an interview and more like just hanging out with a friend who happens to live nearby.
pro tip for the burnt out:
- shrink that circle. seriously, pull the radius in. you don't need to date the entire state.
- look for common ground. if you're in the same neighborhood, you already have things to talk about (the weird neighbor, the best coffee shop, the park).
- don't overthink it. if it doesn't work out, you just gain a "nod hello" neighbor you see at the pharmacy.
it's wild to think i was looking for someone in the next county when i could've just been looking out my window. if things go south, i'll just have to wear a hat when i go for bagels on sunday mornings lol, but honestly, it's worth the risk for a five-minute commute. give it a shot, you might find someone right around the corner.
Comments